Here’s the scenario – you’ve just come back from a wonderful two weeks in the sun. You got tanned, you drank more Sangria than you should have, and come home with that post-holiday buzz. But what horrors are waiting behind the garden gate? Do you dare to peer inside?

Here’s what happened: in the time you were gone, Scottish weather did what it normally does in summer and rained. A lot. And it was moderately warm which only means one thing. Everything grew like crazy to the point where:

1. Your grass looks like you took part in ‘No-Mow-Any-Month-This-Year’
2. Your veg plot is only a distant memory, now quicky becoming a wildflower meadow
3. The baby courgette you left to grow looks like it should have it’s own Channel 5 evening special ‘My Giant Marrow Horror Life’
4. The polytunnel resembles a wide shot from ‘Day of the Triffids’ (and not the poor noughties remake but the original scary one)

So what do you do? How do you tackle a garden suffering from holiday neglect?

Don’t Panic

Coming back to your now overgrown and verdant jungle can be stressful and the sheer amount of work can be overwhelming. The important thing is not to panic. It can be tempting just to throw in the towel and let everything go. All that remedial work is about as attractive as a ‘Hobbit Trilogy’ marathon.

But that isn’t a solution if the garden is a place of solace and therapy (as it is to many). You can’t be expected to relax in a space that stresses you out!

You don’t need to rush out to the garden straight away either. Instead, approach it methodically. Here’s how I like to do it:

1. Make a list of jobs. This doesn’t have to be exhaustive, just wander round the garden with a pad and paper and note down the key tasks needed to get things under control. Stick to specifics. Avoid writing ‘Do some weeding’. Instead, go with something measurable like ‘Weed the French beans’.
2. Decide which jobs need to be done first. Urgent tasks might be cutting the hedge back from your door, tying plants up, or watering. Everything else can wait for when you have more time.
3. As you achieve the various things on your list, tick them off. You’ll feel calmer and more in control as your list gets shorter.

Get Family and Friends Involved

Gardening alone is fun, but you know what can be even more fun? Gardening with other people. If you’ve ended up with a gardening mountain to climb, why not enlist family and friends to give you a hand? You could return the favour when they come back from holiday or are doing a big job.

This is a great chance to get kids involved in the garden. My kids love being given specific tasks to do like picking up windfallen apples, sweeping leaves, or filling the compost heap. Older kids can help with cutting the grass or hedges. One time, we got a friend’s teenage son to help with our hedge and paid him for his labours.

Call in the Professionals

If the thought of coming back to an overgrown garden is enough to ruin the second half of your holiday, then you need professional help.

No, not that kind – a professional gardener! Why not engage the services of a local gardener to come and give your garden a once over before you come back? You could give them some simple jobs like weeding, cutting the grass, and trimming a hedge or two. That’s one less thing for you to worry about and gives you a head start when you get back.

When I worked as a gardener, I used to do one-off garden tidy-ups all the time. A couple of blokes with farmer’s tans can turn your jungle into the Botanic gardens in an afternoon.

Finally: Don’t Stress

The most important thing here is not to stress. Gardening is meant to relieve stress, not add to it. You’ll make a big difference in a couple of evenings or afternoons. If you break it into manageable chunks, it will be a lot more enjoyable. And with some help, you might even make some new gardening buddies.

Neil M. White lives in Perthshire with his wife and three children. He has worked in horticulture as a landscape gardener and in a tree nursery.

Passionate about growing fruit and veg, Neil’s latest book on gardening ‘The Self Provisioner’ was published in April 2020.

Follow what Neil gets up to on his X and Instagram pages.